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Listen to the demented ravings of the web community!

Well, here we share whatever crackpot or otherwise mail from whoever cares enough to write three sentences of E-Mail and send it to this address:

So-Crates sent this "interesting" theory on the behaviour of the old woman with vaccuum and the lawn gnome:
I wish to send a theory about the actions of the old woman in the pictures section. If that is in fact a lawn gnome in the background, the dialogue would go something like this:
Old Woman: Alright you gnome! I'm cleaning you, one and for all!
Gnome: Never, you shriveled harpy, thou shalt not inhale my dust bunnies with thine sinister sucking machine!
Old Woman: What!? Are the stupid wads of filth precious to you?
Gnome: Truly to don't understand, prune munching one. These dust bunnies power my mighty intellect with their magic tricycles, not to mention the party hats!!!!
Old Woman: Superior intellect? You're a ceramic sculpture for Abaclabicus' sake! You have no intellect!
Gnome: Oh don't I? Well then, if I had no intellect, I couldn't possibly know that you are about to die.
Old Woman: You're correct, oddly enough, I am not about to die, and you will be vacuumed!!! (she switches on the vacuum)
Gnome: But you are about to die, which means my intellect is almighty! HOO-HA!!!!
Old Woman: What!?!? NOOOOO!!!! (A large toilet springs out of the lawn, engulfing the woman and her residence, and flushing it into the depths to be judged by the lampshades. Meanwhile, the gnome triumphs.)
Gnome: HA! I am the victor of this contest of aroogala!
(The gnome is then exploded by a well placed firework.)
Your friend,